So..... I don't know why I try anymore. All I do is try to help others and all I get is either ignored, or left out of the loop, or just nothing in return. I can handle it when I help others and all I get is a small thank you. At least they acknowledged the fact that I helped them, but when it comes down to it, and I need their help, I know that they won't help me. It's always like that. This happy, and life-loving girl never needs help to anybody but the people that can read her like a book and the only person that I feel has ever helped me back and been there for me when I needed her is my best friend. I don't know why I try. I have torn myself out of the frame trying to get through to somebody that I really care about them and you know what? Now, I don't even know if they were telling the truth or not because they read my messages and then don't respond to them!!! I mean what am I supposed to do!?!?!?! Sit around like a lost puppy and wait on them hand and foot? I can't do that!!! I want to cry. I want to cry and kick and scream at something but I can't. Because if I do, I'll get yelled at. I got yelled at for trying to do my homework when all my parents have been doing ALL DAY LONG is their homework! I'm SORRY that I want to make a good grade in my classes!! And I'm sorry that my stuff takes up too folding table things that I have to put side-by-side and I'm SO FREAKING SORRY that I can't read your mind and tell when it's time for you to pass because you're doing the laundry! You have a mouth!! You have words!! USE. THEM. And when you DON'T use them, don't expect me to bow to your every single little whim and read your mind like I'm some sort of mind-reader!!! God, sometimes I just wish I was a mind-reader, so I could tell when someone is really there for me or are just stringing me along... I'm stupid. I'm stupid and blind to have not seen what was happening and the fact that I let this happen to me AGAIN is even more pathetic and is totally my fault. It's better to be alone in this world it seems, cause then you don't have to rely on anybody and you don't have that major chance of the one person you care for the most breaking your heart...... And maybe I'm being stupid and over reacting about this, that is a good possibility, but right now that's how I feel and it will take some serious kissing up and careful words to get me to cheer up..... Thanks for listening if you actually read the whole thing. I just needed to vent....